A 321 – knightofmalta

Lufthansa, Business Class – Airbus A 321: Basel via Frankfurt to Malta

Preamble

After my last and very dreadful experience in Frankfurt, when I was on my way to Oman in January of this year, I swore I wouldn’t ever travel via Frankfurt again. Ever. And yet, here I am, the eternal glutton for punishment, at 04:50 in the morning, on the airport bus, on my way to Basel airport to catch a connecting flight to Malta via Frankfurt. But let me explain. First, there is the fact that the Lufthansa morning service to Malta is convenient. It operates daily and is one of the earliest possible arrivals on the island if you’re coming from northern and central Europe – bringing you in to Malta just before noon. Second, I figured the transfer in Frankfurt couldn’t possibly be that bad again – mainly because I would be transferring from one Lufthansa flight to another and also within the Schengen area.

Boarding the Flight to Frankfurt

When boarding is called in Basel, I figure I might as well wait until the end. I mean, on Lufthansa it’s not as though you’re missing anything much if you board last. And there are only about forty passengers on the aircraft. As I pass through the gate and the agent scans the boarding pass that I received from Lufthansa by SMS yesterday, an alert goes off. The gate agent informs me that I’m not checked in, and because I’m late, I won’t be allowed to board… Say, what now?

I tell the guy that I still have the SMS I got from Lufthansa yesterday with a time stamp on it, just in case he wants to make a legal case out of this whole idiotic conversation. He thinks about it for a moment, then relents, prints my boarding passes and then ghosts me.

Transfer in Shitho… furt

The rest of the trip to Shitho… furt is uneventful. Except perhaps, that it’s kind of weird that the crew don’t pass through the cabin to collect any of the trash before landing.

We transfer to the terminal building by shuttle bus, which is a bit like being given a complimentary guided tour of that garbage heap you never knew you needed to visit like you needed a kick in the head.

I arrive on the A concourse and make my way to the Senator lounge, where there’s a long queue of passengers waiting to enter. Ironically, Vranckx – the CEO of SWISS – is also in the queue, looking as despondent and dejected as everybody else there. I’m kind of tempted to ask him if he thinks this is good customer service. But I’m trying to be nice, so I relent.

Inevitably, the lounge is very busy. So I don’t take any pictures. The food selection is quite good and has a nice variety of dishes. Beside that, I think airline lounges are a fascinating study in anthropology and intercultural interaction. There are are the closeted alcoholics, guzzling white wine even before nine o’clock in the morning under the pretence of being so heavily jetlagged that they couldn’t possibly tell the time… And then there are the businessmen in their immaculate suits with a colour coded hankerchief in their breast pocket and shiny leather loafers. They glance upon the other visitors to the lounge with a fleeting sense of disdain. I would say they’re probably upper management. And then there are my favourites. The eager looking young men in their pseudo designer suits, no tie, collar button open, and… white sneakers or trainers. Definitely lower management. Middle management at best. I’m guessing they’re going for a kind of Steve Jobs vibe. You know, unconventional but driven and ambitious. And of course, there are also the totally relaxed hippsters with their messy manbuns, trying really, really very hard. And then of course, there’s me: tired and still too seriously undercaffeinated to show even the remotest bit of goodwill for the brotherhood of mankind.

Boarding the Flight to Malta

My flight to Malta is being operated by an Airbus A 321, which arrived back in Frankfurt from Gothenburg earlier in the morning. The flight is boarding from gate A 36, which is a contact stand towards the end of the A pier.

I approach the counter to ask if I could possibly have my hand luggage checked in and put into the hold, so I won’t have to carry it. I have two slipped discs and the pain from carrying the suitcase is killing me. Apparently, the flight is full and the gate agent seems euphoric to have found somebody willing to have their luggage checked in.

When boarding starts, an announcement is made that the aircraft is still not fully catered, and therefore passengers in boarding groups 1 (HONs and Business Class) and 2 (Senators) should proceed to the bottom of the stairs, then cross the ramp and board the aircraft through the rear door. While the other passengers grudgingly make their way to the bottom of the stairs, I’m more or less doing a little happy dance and grinning like the Cheshire cat. I love being on the ramp next to the aircraft (and taking photos)!

The only problem is that while we’re all walking towards the rear door, upstairs in the terminal they’re received information that loading the catering is now over and that therefore, all passengers can now board through the airbridge at the front L1 door. Inevitably, boarding turns into a mess, as the Business Class passengers sitting at the front of the bus try to push past the Economy Class passengers trying to get to their seats at the back of the bus. Still, at least like this we didn’t have to endure the unsighly sight of catering containers being loaded. What a relief!

The Cabin

There are seven rows of Business Class on this flight for a total of 28 passengers. The flight is either full or nearly full in both cabins. I am seated on row 7, which is the last Business Class row.

The pitch is good, and the empty middle seat means that I can park my yellow rucksack under the seat in front.

The Crew

The crew seem friendly enough. But I think they’re not really into it. The guy next to me patiently asks for the boarding completed announcement before pressing the call button. When the cabin crew arrives, he asks if he could have a cup of water. To which he is told that it will have to wait until after take off. So no water. Unlike SWISS, Lufthansa does not provide any passenger-crew interaction before departure. There are no refreshing towels in advance and no still water.

The Meal

Once we’re airborne and the fasten seatbelt sign goes off, the guy next to me stops one of the passing cabin crew and asks if he could have a cup of water. The cabin crew tells him later, because the crew will be starting the service soon. So still no water.

The breakfast consists of a large plate with slices of cheese, some veg, an egg salad and some cold cut. Then there is a bowl of joghurt with pineapple sauce, and then crew pass through offering croissants and buns from the breadbasket. Much to my surprise, the crew have obviously checked the frequent flyer programme status of passengers on the manifest, becaue when the cabin crew addresses me about breakfast, he start with ‘Hello Mr A., it’s good to have you back with us‘. To drink I have an apple juice and coffee.

After the meal, the crew pass through the cabin offering apples and then later on also chocolates.

The other three passengers on my row are all Indian, and apparently all vegetarian. They inquire about the vegetarian option and are informed that there isnone. One of the passengers asks how this can be, given that his food preferences are saved in his profile and he received a vegetarian meal in the previous flight. To which the cabin crew explains that any preference that is saved in the profile is only applicable automatically on long-haul flights, whereas on short-haul European flights it is not, and therefore vegetarian meals need to be ordered. I mean, fair enough, if that’s how Lufthansa wants to do it, that’s their business. But I also agree with one of the Indian guys who complained that it was rather confusing. It’s also true that many other airlines usually have a vegetarian option on board.

Arrival in Malta

We land in Malta just before noon. It’s quite a bumpy approach. The airport is very busy, we’re the ninth aircraft to land and the ramp is full. Even so, the arrival goes smoothly. We’re bussed to the terminal, and by the time I reach the luggage belt (via detour to the loo), my suitcase is just coming around the corner.

Conclusion

This wasn’t a bad experience with Lufthansa. Sure, the gate agent in Basel was having a bit of a bad hair day, but you can’t really blame Lufthansa for that. And I guess you can’t fully blame them for the fact that Frankfurt is a rathole, although the lounge situation is a bit of an issue. The passenger experience with Lufthansa wasn’t bad as such. It’s just really very, very bland and exchangeable. And that’s the problem. Where there wasn’t anything memorable about this flight that made me think I’ll definitely fly them again next time, to me Frankfurt airport clearly is a reason not to fly Lufthansa. Still, at least they still have Munich, which is a much more pleasant experience.

Lufthansa, Business Class – Airbus A 321: Frankfurt to Malta

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Introduction

I’m on my way to Malta for this year’s edition of the Malta Marathon. I shall be running the half-marathon with a distance of 21.1 kilometres, which is in fact longer than the width of the island!

I confess I’m a bit of a wuss, I’ve never been able to bring up the cojones to attempt a full marathon. That’s still one for the bucket list. Others of course, like my friend the valiant M., probably do a nippy full marathon every morning, just to work up an appetite for breakfast…

But I digress. Again. So yes, last year I flew with Lufthansa via Munich and I must say, I was hardly impressed. But given my recent, rather positive experiences on SWISS, I figured I might as well give Lufthansa another chance. There’s also that fact that their schedule is the most convenient for my purpose.

Getting to the Airport

Just to give Lufthansa a bit of a head start, I shall not regale you with a full trip report of the Basel to Frankfurt sector. Suffice to say it was not so nice. My biggest complaint is the aircraft. Those Canadair RegionalJets really are stinkers! Everything is really tight and cramped and the bins are simply too small for all the hand luggage people take on board these days.

Lufthansa Business Class Lounge

The bus from the aircraft to the terminal ejects me somewhere in the bowels of the A concourse of Terminal 1. From here I take the stairs one floor up and make my way to the Lufthansa Business Class lounge.

The lounge is nicely designed and very bright, using a lot of white paint and light wooden panelling. The views of the apron are quite spectacular too, despite those pesky stripes that run along the width of the windows.

It’s just too bad there hardly any place left to sit. There are people everywhere and I’m left wondering if all these good men and women really have nothing better to do on a Saturday morning than hang around an airport lounge. But it doesn’t matter. I only have about 15 minutes in the lounge before it’s time for me to head for gate A 36, from where the flight will be boarding.

Boarding

Only, getting to the gate may prove to be a bit trickier than I thought. The queue of passengers for Schengen emigration is so long that it’s blocking access to the A concourse, which is in the opposite direction from the non-Schengen area. But eventually, after a long stream of ‘uh…sorry…hello…’tschuldigung…was that your toe, sorry…excuse me’ I finally get through and reach my gate just as boarding is about to start.

The Cabin

Today’s flight is operated by an Airbus A 321. I am seated on 2F, which is a window seat on the starboard side of the aircraft. On this side of the aircraft, row 2 is the first row of Business Class, there is no row 1. Whereas on the opposite side there is.

The leg space is excellent on the bulkhead row. Other than that though, the seat is very hard, with little or no cushioning and – and I know I keep saying this – the grey metallic finish of the panelling really makes the cabin look rather dark and gloomy.

In total, there are 14 Business Class seats on this service. Occupancy is at 50%, with six human beings and a rather regal looking feline who looks as though he owns the aircraft. And Lufthansa actually…

The Crew

The maître de is a woman in her fifties, I should say. What strikes me about her is the eloquence and ease with which she makes her announcements. It seems unrehearsed, but it comes across as being very polished, charming and approachable.

The service only begins really once the aircraft is airborne. Until then, unlike SWISS or KLM, there is no welcome drink, refreshing towel or anything of the sort.

The Meal

Once the fasten seatbelt sign is turned off, the meal service begins. Despite the fairly long flight time of two hours and fifteen minutes it is obviously not foreseen that there should be a drinks service before the meal.

The meal is cold and consists of:

a very nice yoghurt, the content of which I was unable to make out, save for the slice of orange and the pistachios,
a plate of cheese,
a plate of cold meats,
a bowl of fruit,
a selection of buns and croissants that are served warm and nearly burn your fingers,
the bread is served with unsalted butter and Hero strawberry jam,
cream, sugar and a towl are also on the tray.

As the flight attendant passes through the cabin with the bread basket, she encourages the passengers to take as much as they like, insisting that there’s really more than enough. All in all, the meal is rather tasty and hits the spot nicely.

Arrival

It looks like it’s my lucky day today. Landings and take-offs are towards the north, which means that passengers seated on the starboard side of the aircraft are treated to a spectacular view of the island.

The airport is fairly busy when we arrive, but seeing as I only have hand luggage, I’m already on the X2 bus to St. Julian’s within just 15 minutes of landing.

Conclusion

5 Star Airline – I don’t think so…

So what about my Lufthansa experience? First of all, to be fair, I think I should say straight away that this experience was by far much more agreeable to the flight from Munich to Malta last year. Where last year’s crew were a right bunch of nasty old witches, this lot was a more accommodating and willing to interact in a professional and friendly way with the passengers. On this flight I actually felt welcome, and not like I was a burden.

On the down side, and I know this is something Lufthansa has only limited control over, the experience on the ground in Frankfurt really is a nightmare. The airport is a rat hole, with long journeys by bus to and from the aircraft, seemingly endless corridors to walk along and people everywhere that make it difficult to get through.

The inflight product on the other hand, is something Lufthansa very much can control, which makes it all the more unfortunate that precisely this is the carrier’s weakest point. It’s not that there’s anything wrong with what passengers are offered on board in Business Class, it’s just that it’s quite obvious that every attempt has been made to cut costs. I don’t in principle think there’s anything wrong with that. After all, the airline is accountable to its shareholders. But even so, I think the passengers should never be allowed to see the cost cutting.

Other than that, throughout today’s flight there was a constant stream of passengers coming through from Economy Class to use the forward toilet. And quite frankly, I don’t blame them, given that the crew left the curtain between Business Class and Economy open throughout the flight and actually encouraged passengers to use the forward loo. Again, this is in itself not a big issue. But it certainly makes me wonder wherein exactly Lufthansa sees the selling point of its European Business Class product: it’s not the lounges, because they’re too full to be enjoyed anyway; it’s not the catering; and the seat is the same one they have installed in the back of the bus. Which leaves what exactly?

So in the sum of all things, yeah this flight was not bad. But honestly, if anyone at Skytrax seriously thinks Lufthansa is deserving of its 5 Star ranking, then I suspect they probably also still believe in Father Christmas.