CRJ900 – knightofmalta

Lufthansa Cityline, Business Class – Canadair CRJ-900: Amsterdam to Frankfurt

Introduction

I spend the day exploring the town of Utrecht, which is located south of Amsterdam and is directly accessible by train from Schiphol airport. A return first class ticket will cost you EUR33. Utrecht is a lovely town, and I certainly want to return here, but preferably not in winter, not when it’s raining and not when it’s cold.

At 13:21 I catch the intercity back to the airport. The Dutch have these rather funky looking trains…

I still have some time to kill, so I figure I might as well make a stop at Amsterdam South to visit Wagamama before returning to the airport.

By the time I get to Schiphol airport it’s 15:30. I have another three hours to kill before my flight. But given my last experience here at security on my way back from Bogotà, I figure I better plan ahead.

Check-In

Lufthansa checks in at Departures 3. From there it is quite a schlepp to the access gates for the security screening for the Schengen gates.

Apparently, there is a dedicated row for security for Business Class passengers – which is closed today. Still, it doesn’t really make a difference: the queue is moving quickly and the new scanners at Amsterdam mean you don’t have to remove anything from your bag.

The Amsterdam Star Alliance Lounge

The Star Alliance has its own lounge in the Schengen area at Amsterdam, lounge 27. Access is via stairs or lift. The lounge is located one floor up from the public airside area.

I must say, the lounge is rather nice. Of course it also helps that it’s not very busy when I visit.

The lounge has a large selection of hot and cold dishes from a buffet.

There are plenty of seating options in the lounge, including office desks if you’re trying to get some work done.

Of course, my favourite seat is by the window…

The toilets in the lounge are nice and clean. There are no showers, though.

Boarding

Boarding is expected to begin at 18:05 from gate B23. However, at some point there is a gate change and a delay for our flight. As a result, eventually boarding starts at 18:30, which is the departure time, from gate B17. There is a further hold up because the check-in system is not working properly, and the lone gate agent is having to board passenger in the system manually.

The Cabin

There are six rows of Business Class on the flight this evening. In total there are six passengers in the forward cabin.

I am seated on row two, which is the bulkhead row on the starboard side of the cabin. The leg space is good, and with so few passengers the cabin feels roomy.

The Service

There are two cabin crew working this flight. Both of them are middle aged females. They are friendly and laid back, but without being sloppy. What I always find interesting about the Germans, compared to the Swiss, is that they put a sinking intonation when they make an utterance, even if it is intended as a question. The immediate effect of that is that makes them sound as though they just really have so little of a s**t to give, when really it is just the way they talk.

While we are still on the ground, bottles of still water are handed out. Meanwhile I am growing increasingly concerned about my connection in Frankfurt, which would already have been just an hour even if we were on time.

Eventually, we take off at 19:05. With an expected flight time of 45 minutes that should bring me into Frankfurt with 15 minutes to spare before the next flight starts boarding.

The Meal

This is my first experience with the Lufthansa Taste of Heimat catering, and I am not sure what to make of it. The tray is definitely an improvement over the KLM cardboard boxes. But what is it with the Germans and their obsessive compulsion for meat?

The meal consists of a plate of some mushroom terrine, an egg and cream cheese paste and two slices of meat in an onion dressing. The meal is served with a selection of breads.

For dessert there is a piece of chocolate cake in some sort of coulis.

And to end the meal there is a small piece of chocolate, which I am guessing is SWISS rubbing off on Lufthansa.

Transfer in Frankfurt

Of course, the flight takes a little longer than 45 minutes, of course we have to land on the northern most (and remote) runway, and of course we have been assigned the remotest stand to park on. By the time the bus taking us to the terminal gets moving, it is already 20:15. My connecting flight has just started boarding, while I am stuck on a bus getting the grand tour of what must be the ugliest airport in Europe…

Lufthansa, Business Class – CRJ-900: Frankfurt to Basel

Airline: Lufthansa Cityline
Aircraft: Bombardier CRJ-900
From: Frankfurt
To: Euroairport Basel-Mulhouse Freibourg
Departure: 22h05
Arrival: 22h40
Flight time: 35 minutes
Seat: 4A

My flight from Malta ends at gate A18. I now need to make my way through that depressing tunnel that connects the A pier to the B gates. The lifts taking passengers down to the tunnel at basement level are hopelessly overloaded, so I take the stairs instead.

Part of the tunnel is closed, hopefully for embellishing, but in this rat hole I‘m pretty sure that‘s a lost cause… at least there aren‘t that many people down here and I make quick progress.

As soon as I arrive at the gate, they make an announcement inviting all passengers who have been to China in the last two weeks, or to a country with reported cases of corona virus or who have a Chinese passport to contact the ground staff. I find this rather odd. While I understand that there is clearly cause for concern over the spreading of the corona virus, I still think it’s racist and rather awkward to single out the nationals of one country only.

In any case, once boarding begins, we go down once more into the bowels of the terminal complex and then take the compliemtary bus tour of Frankfurt airport to reach our aircraft, which is literally parked on the remotest remote stand, in the eastern-most corner of the apron.

Boarding is quickly completed and the flight is not full. The Business Class cabin has eight rows. Although there are only two people on row 5, behind me, and another passenger across the aisle from me on 4F.

There are two male crew in the cabin. Again, they make an interesting linguistic case study. The purser is obviously Australian. His German is very good and he only makes few mistakes with his declensions. His colleague is probably German. His English is fine, but with a slighly strange accent. Allegedly, he also speaks French, most of which, though, is incomprehensible.

As passengers board, they are handed a packed of almonds.

We make our way out to runway 18, which is at the completely opposite end of the airfield, despite the fact the threshold for runway 25C is only a few hundred metres away from our stand.

We reach the runway, stop abruptly and then turn back. Apparently, the wind has changed and runway 18 is no longer available. So we have to make our way back to the threshold of runway 25C and wait for a slot for us to open…

One hour and fifteen take-offs later it’s finally our turn to make our departure. The initial climb is very bumpy, but then very quickly we settle into the cruise and the crew begin their service.

For dinner there is small plate with a skewer of feta cheese, olive and cucumber, another piece of vitello tonnato wrapped around some leaves of rocket, and a few slices of melon. For dessert there a passion fruit mousse and more of the chocolates. By the time the crew clear away the trays, we’re already descending into Basel.

We land at 22h40, one hour behind schedule. Which is not so good, because it’s also around the same time the easyJet fleet based in Basel returns home. As a result, the bus heading into town tends to get very full. As we taxi in, I notice the KLM flight from Amsterdam is nowhere to be seen, which is strange and slightly worrying, considering it should have landed at 21h45. I suppose I should be alarmed, but that’s another story, I’m too tired…

Lufthansa CityLine, Business Class – CRJ-900: Basel to Munich

Airline: Lufthansa Cityline
Aircraft: Bombardier CRJ-900
From: Euroairport Basel-Mulhouse Freibourg
To: München Airport
Departure: 06:30
Arrival: 07:20
Flight time: fifty minutes
Seat: 2F, window seat on the starboard side

It‘s just coming up to five o‘clock on Saturday morning as I make my way across the station square to catch the airport bus. Remind me, why am I doing this again?

There aren‘t many people about at this time of the night. The bus isn‘t very full either. So I grab a seat at the very back and desperately try to catch just a few more minutes of sleep.

At least that means check-in and security are quiet too.

My flight to München is boarding from gate 60, which is inconvenient because it means I shall have to pass through the duty free shop to get to the lounge – and I really do need a coffee right now – and then back again to board my flight.

Boarding starts on time. By the time I reach the gate there are only a few passengers left… ‚after-you-no-after-you-please-I-insist-after-you…‘.

As passengers step on board, we are handed a small chocolate biscuit sandwich. In Economy Class that is the full extent of the inflight service. But it is a very short flight after all!

The crew aren‘t exactly exuberant, but they seem friendly enough and a vast improvement over my previous experience with Lufthansa.

There are six rows of Business Class for a total of twelve passengers. And the cabin is full. On the CRJ-900 the bulkhead row on the port side of the aircraft is row 1. On the starboard side, the bulkhead is on row 2, because the toilet is located on what would be row 1.

The CRJ-900 is a dreadful aircraft, it‘s tight and cramped and the cabin colours Lufthansa went for are just drab, dull and dark. Not sure in what universe off-grey is not depressing and ugly… on the upside though, on row 2 the aircraft really is exceptionally quiet.

Once we‘re airborne and the fasten seatbelt sign is turned off, the service begins. First the crew roll down the aisle with the food trolley, dishing out the trays. Only after all passengers have their meal do the two flight attendants return to the galley to bring out the drinks trolley.

The meal is presented in a small basket with a checkered pattern, which is kind of cute. The basket contains a müsli bar of sorts, which is rather vile, a bottle of strawberry and banana smoothie that gives me heartburn before I‘ve even finished it, a few grapes, and a ham sandwich. As I said, it‘s only a short flight.

The cruise isn’t very long obviously, and very soon we’re already descending into Munich. Eventually, we land at 07h15.

The flight comes to an end on one of the few remote stands for the CRJs immediately next to the terminal building. So at least there will be no bus transfer and passengers can just walk straight into the terminal.

I now have two hours before my onward flight.

Lufthansa Cityline, Business Class – Bombardier CRJ-900: Frankfurt to Basel

Transfer in Frankfurt

My flight from Malta comes to an end at the C pier, which is just about the worst thing that can happen to you if you’re connecting through Frankfurt onto another Schengen flight. Because although passengers exit into the Schengen area, the moment you step out of the gate, you’re no longer in the secured area, which means that for my onward flight to Basel from the A pier, I am going to have to go through security again – which is kind of missing the point.

There is a separate security line for premium passengers. But somehow they even manage to screw that up in Frankfurt, because the queue for security at the premium lane is actually much longer than the regular Economy Class queues.

Boarding

By the time I’m airside, it’s just coming up to eight in the evening. The flight should start boarding in about twenty minutes. As it’s on my way anyway, I decide to stop briefly in the lounge. As it turns out, the place is far more crowded than the public airside area. There are people everywhere and there literally isn’t any place at all to sit. There are people milling around randomly, holding a glass of beer in one hand while trying to hold a plate of food and eat at the same time with the other hand.

Boarding is from a bus gate of course, which is never pleasant in Frankfurt, because you end up driving through the bowels of the terminal facility, stop starting all the way, before being ejected on the apron.

The Crew

There are two middle aged female cabin crew on the flight and they both so couldn’t give a shit it’s not even funny anymore. The one working the rear cabin has a set facial expression that is very much reminiscent of a bulldog – I think it’s the drooping jowls that help to create the effect after having spent too many years glaring at passengers without smiling.

The more senior flight attendant is not much better. Her announcements are made without any interest, professionalism, intonation or even pausing. Does she ever stop to breathe? Once the service begins, 1A asks her what there’s on offer to drink. To which her only reply is that she really hasn’t got time for this and that he should just tell her what he wants. She’ll be sure to tell him if they haven’t got in on board. Charming, I’m sure.

The Meal

The tray table on the empty seat next to me is down. I opened it to put my glasses on it. When the flight attendant reaches my row, she unceremoniously plonks down a tray without saying a word and just moves on to the next row. Ehm, thanks?

Surprisingly, the meal looks nicer than the breakfast the day before. There’s a plate with antipasti:

Vitello tonnato
A prune rolled in bacon
A mushroom filled with cream cheese
A fig and a piece of blue cheese

The meal is served with bread sticks, a chocolate bar and a dessert. In addition, bread is offered separately.

Arrival

With a flight time of only thirty minutes, it’s quite impressive that Lufthansa should offer anything at all, and I really am quite surprised by the quality of the meal.

Before the crew have managed to serve all the passengers in Economy Class a drink, we’ve already started out descent into Basel. The senior flight attendant takes another very deep breath, so as not to have to interrupt to inhale and exhale while she speaks, and announces that the service shall not be completed because that villainous cad of a pilot has selfishly started the descent. I notice also that she doesn’t even consider for a moment making an apology…

Conclusion

If nothing else, avoiding Frankfurt airport is a good enough reason to not fly Lufthansa. The airport is an unattractive and inconvenient mix of randomly constructed buildings that are linked together without a concept and clearly without a thought to the unfortunate souls that have to transfer through this hovel. As for Lufthansa, I think it’s really quite tragic to see what a sad state their regional operation has degraded to. If you treat the people working for you badly, you shouldn’t expect them to treat your customers any better. And that’s okay too, but customers are fickle.

Lufthansa Cityline, Business Class – CRJ-900: Basel to München

Introduction

I’m on my way to Malta. Tomorrow is the Malta marathon that I was planning on participating in. But it’s looking like that may not be happening after all. First of all, I have a collapsed arch, which doesn’t cause me any problems when I’m walking or running but all the more pain when I’m just standing or resting my foot. And apart from that, the organisers have announced that despite the expected gale force winds (!), the run is expected to go ahead as planned. But I really don’t think I fancy that.

But the flights are booked anyway, and I think it’ll do me good to go home, one way or another. The upshot of course, is that I’m going to have to travel with Lufthansa, which is rarely a pleasurable experience.

Getting to the Airport

My flight from Basel to Munich departs at 06h15, which means I have to take the 04h55 bus to the airport, which gets there at 05h09. Being a Saturday morning, the bus is still fairly empty.

Check-in

The Lufthansa app works moderately well. It takes quite a while to load, but that might just as well be because of my iPhone or the connection, I guess. Seeing as I’ll only be gone one day, I’m only travelling with hand luggage.

The Skyview Lounge

Basel airport has been a constant building site since the partial suspension of the Schengen treaty. And to be honest, I can’t help but feel that perhaps that was the main idea – to keep people in the area in jobs. And while there’s a lot of construction going on in the terminal building itself, more and more flights are shifting back into the small secured Schengen area that still exists. Apparently, Lufthansa or Germany have made it on to the ‘good’ list, so at least I won’t need to go through immigration.

The lounge is mostly empty, save for an English family with two boys. One of which picks up a large bottle of orange juice from the fridge, opens the lid and then proceeds to drink the juice straight from the bottle. His parents very obviously so couldn’t give a shit. Apparently they must have been raised on a farm too, just like their son.

So I wait for them to get lost, then take the bottle and chuck it in the bin.

Boarding

Boarding starts at 05h55. There is a separate line for Business Class passengers and status holders and these are also invited to board the aircraft first.

Trying to get to the gate is a bit of a tight squeeze, because the passengers for the easyJet flight are already lined up in queue for boarding and ready to go.

The Cabin

I’m seated on row 2A. I know I complain a lot about Lufthansa, but one advantage they have in Business Class, is that even on a puny little squirt like the CRJ-900, the seat next to you will always remain empty. And I also must say, the amount of noise up front is minimal. It’s quite calm and pleasant.

On a side note, row 1 is right opposite the door to the toilet – which might be unpleasant, especially on a full flight.

The Crew

There are two cabin crew on the flight: a middle aged woman with a rather grating voice, especially at 06h in the morning, and a middle aged gentleman. I don’t think he’s German though, because his accent when he speaks English and French is nearly non-existent.

The one thing that always strikes me on European Lufthansa, is how the service has been stripped to the absolute minimum. There is not refreshing towel, no welcome drink and no interaction with the crew.

The Meal

The flight time is announced at slightly over forty minutes. The Business Class meal is served on a tray and passengers are served individually from the galley, as opposed to a classic trolley service.

And what a sad meal it is! The food comes on a small white tray which is decked out in a red and white chequered napkin, in what I can only assume is Lufthansa’s interpretation of rustic Bavarian country bumpkin chic.

On it is a nut protein bar, a small bottle with a coconut and pineapple smoothie, a yoghurt with cherry compote and a ham sandwich wrapped in paper. Apart from the fact that the meal really looks very sad and just screams ‘cost saving’, it’s also not particularly good.

I also find it somewhat awkward that they should put pork ham in the sandwiches. Surely, it wouldn’t hurt Lufthansa to use cheese or something else that will not immediately exclude or cause offence to people who will not eat pork for religious reasons or any meat out of conviction.

Arrival

The flight passes quickly and eventually we land at 07h11. I now have just under two hours to make my connection to Malta.

We stop on a remote stand and then from there we’re bussed to the main terminal building.