AIRLINES W – Z – knightofmalta

WizzAir, Economy Class – Airbus A 321: Basel to Tirana

Introduction

It’s a lazy late summer’s evening here in Switzerland. The temperature is warm and balmy, and there are little insects dancing in the last rays of light as the sun slowly dips below the horizon. Just after 20h I leave my flat and make my way across the square to catch the 20h15 bus to the airport.

The bus is nearly empty. Considering this is the airport bus after all, it’s a bit surprising that I’m the only traveller making his way to the airport. Facing me is an elderly lady. Despite the warm weather, she sits there in a woolly hat and a thick coat, absently staring into space, drawing symbols on the wind with her bony index finger. I wonder if she even knows what she’s doing. I follow the lines of her hand and the outstreched finger, but I am unable to decipher the cryptic symbols she is painting in the air.

Check-in

The departures concourse is quiet when I arrive there at 20h30. There are only two more departures this evening. The WizzAir flight to Tirana at 21h45 and a SunExpress flight to Izmir shortly after. There are two counters open for each flight.

I’ve already checked in online using the WizzAir app. Two weeks before my flight, WizzAir starts with the reminders and regular updates about the Covid restrictions in place for Albania. As of 05 September 2021, entry into the country is only with a valid Covid certificate.

Boarding

Airside there are hardly any passengers and most shops look as though they closed a long time ago.

Boarding is an interesting concept with WizzAir. I have a ticket that gives me ‘priority’ privileges for boarding, which means that I can jump the queue – only to end up having to wait the longest until all the passengers have entered the holding pen. The aircraft hasn’t even arrived yet when I get there!

I think what strikes me the most about this flight is the number of babies and infants. Loud, yelling and screaming babies and infants. There are more minors than adults on the flight. And the air around the holding area is rife with the horrific stench of baby poo and the noise of cranky toddlers. You can’t really blame them, either. This is not a time for little kids to be travelling.

Boarding takes for ever and literally leaves me speechless. I’m mean, how do all these people manage to create such complete and utter chaos out of nothing? The aircraft is a mess. Some people who are sitting at the front of the bus obviously thought it would be a great idea to use the rear stairs. Only to then have to battle their way forward to row 3, where they’re actually seated. One woman with a baby thinks the emergency exit looks like a nice place for her baby to sleep on the floor, while grandad mistakes the aircraft’s cabin for a cocktail party and idly chats with whoever happens to catch his eye, completely oblivious to the queue building up behind him. Meanwhile, the guy who just got on the plane is yelling at him from the front, telling him to move the f*@!k on…

The Crew

There are five cabin crew members on this flight, and they do a good job of managing the crowds. They’re very no-nonsense, but I suspect that’s probably the only thing that will work in this case. One of the crew is this petite, young brunnette. But she’s fierce. Even the old patriarchs shy away from her!

The Cabin

The cabin is rather dirty and obviously hasn’t been cleaned for a few days, I’d say, judging by the grime and crushed potato chips littered across the floor. I can literally feel the crunch under my feet as I make my way to my seat at the emergency exit on row 12.

WizzAir has a very high density configuration on the A 321. Seat pitch is tight, so if you’re more than 6ft. tall, I would really recommend you pay the extra fee for the emergency exit. It’ll save you a boatload of health bills for the chiropractor to realign your vertabrae.

Catering

Catering on WizzAir is buy on board. The prices are reasonable. I order a bottle of still water and a KitKat, which sets me back four Euros. Payment is possible in Albanian Lek, Euros or by credit card.

Arrival

The flight passes quickly enough. It helps that I have a whole row of three to myself to spread out. We land ten minutes ahead of schedule at 23h35. The transfer to the terminal is by bus. Luckily, immigration is empty when we get there. Even so, the process takes quite a while, as obviously not everbody got the memo about the new requirement of having to present a Covid certificate.

Conclusion

This was a fairly short post. As usual with the low cost carriers, there isn’t really all that much to say about the experience. Mainly, because the experience has been stripped of anything that might make it memorable. The ride was comfortable and convenient, because I could fly directly from Basel. Other than that, flying with WizzAir feels a lot like getting on a bus. And not much else. What ever happened to the romance of flying and travel…?

Wideroe, Economy Class – Dash 8-300: Haugesund to Bergen

Getting to the airport

Skudeneshavn is a picturesque fishing village on the southern tip of Karmoy island. Before I head to the airport, 35 minutes away by car, I find a small café/souvenir shop and have some lunch. What you can see here in the picture is a ‘Kanelknute’, a very yeasty dough that’s chewy and sweet, with a subtle hint of cardamom and cinnamon. In the interest of investigative blogging, I had three. And I can confirm that they were all of the same outstanding quality. The wrap I also had was tasty as well.

Check-in

It’s not very often I manage to get the entire terminal facility and adjoining office building in one shot. So here you have it, boys and girls, Haugesund international airport in all its glory.

Check-in for this flight is interesting. The routing HAU-BGO-AMS-BSL was purchased and issued on one ticket via the KLM app. However, check-in on the app is not possible. However, 24 hours before departure, I receive an email from Wideroe, informing me that check-in is now open and that I have been assigned 7D on the Haugesund to Bergen leg. I am able to download all three boarding passes into my iPhone wallet. I’m must say, I’m impressed. The interface with other airlines is not always so nicely implemented!

Because of Covid, access to the terminal building is currently only permitted for passengers. Although there’s nobody there to check, really.

The departure screen may perhaps explain the empty terminal…

Airside

There is no lounge for premium passengers at the airport. Initially, when I arrive at around 14h15, the place is pretty much deserted, save for a few diehards getting in some serious drinking before they board their flight. I just hope they’re not on my flight…

Boarding

Boarding for the flight starts on time. Don’t you just love an airport without airbridges? From what I can tell, there are about 40 passengers on the flight.

The cabin

Outside and inside the aircraft and cabin are in mint condition. In my experience with SAS, they tend to work their aircraft pretty hard, and it usually shows. So I was expecting the same thing from Wideroe. But much to my surprise, the aircraft looks new. The cabin is fresh and roomy and the seats are plush and comfortable. The pitch is also good and provides good leg space. Much better, incidentally, than KLM’s E175.

The only downside of my seat on 7D is that it’s right under the wing, limiting the views of the outside while we’re still on the ground. The flight has a block time of 30 minutes, although our actual flight time is only 20 minutes.

The cabin crew

There is one cabin crew aboard this aircraft, which means that the seating capacity is not more than 50. The young lady is friendly enough and goes about her duties in an efficient, friendly manner. Obviously, with a flight time of only 20 minutes, there is no service. But that’s okay, because our route takes us along Norway’s coast. And the weather today is just glorious!

Arrival

The first thing I notice when we land, is that the airport is a lot busier than it was when I arrived. We taxi to the new domestic terminal and disembark in front of the terminal.

Transfer to Amsterdam

In Bergen I’m transferring to a KLM flight to Amsterdam. It’s quite a long schlepp from the domestic terminal to the international terminal, but at least you won’t have to go through security a second time.

The international terminal is deserted, as ours is the only flight to depart from this part of the airport. Most shops are closed, and I’m surprised to see there’s a kiosk open, where you can by drinks and snacks, like those horrific artificially pink sausages they seem to love in Norway.

Before boarding, my Covid documents and passport are checked, seeing as this was not done on the domestic flight from Haugesund to Bergen.

Epilogue

The trip back to Basel is quite uneventful, so I will spare you the details. Entering Switzerland is always a mess in Basel, ever since France suspended the Schengen treaty over security concerns. The Covid situation in France has done little to make the process any smoother or any more pleasant. But this too will pass.

Overall, this was a pleasant trip. Everything worked well, and it was nice to spend some time again in Amsterdam and in Haugesund. But before I let you go, I just have three things I’d like to get off my chest:

First, I really, really do not like the E175. Not just in KLM’s configuration (which is one of the better ones out there), but in general. It feels cramped and tight and the seats are simply very hard and overall just uncomfortable, even on row 1.

Second, KLM and Air France’s strategy is clearly to bring as much of the network as possible back online as quickly as possible. With the exception of the last flight from Amsterdam to Basel though, none of the flights I took were really full. I’m obviously not complaining because it’s always nice to have a bit more space. My point is that, like many of the European carriers, KLM and Air France were able to secure substantial funds to tie them over until traffic starts to pick up in earnest. While one might argue about the merits of investing literally billions of EUROs into an industry that was already heavily lossmaking even before Covid, at least KLM and Air France have done something useful with those funds. And I wish them and their staff the best of luck with that.

And third, most importantly, get your vaccine as soon as you can. Your arm will hurt a bit just after you get the jab, but it will not become magnetic, no matter what people tell you. Get your vaccine as soon as you can, not just to protect yourself, but to protect others too. That is your civic duty. And seriously, it certainly beats having to queue for a stupid test every time you want to go partying, travel abroad, visit a concert or go to the museum.

Stay healthy, all of you!

–William

Wamos Air, Economy Class – Boeing B 747-400: Arrecife to Zürich

Date: 09. July 2016
Departure:
Arrival:
Flight time:
Seat:

Chronicle of chaos foretold…
Over the last few weeks Vueling has received a lot of negative press about flight cancellations and severe delays in the run up to the busy summer holiday period. As usual, rumours and accusations were many – with the Spanish newspapers allegedly knowing that in fact the Vueling staff were on strike and that this was the real cause for the many irregularities. The airline’s new management of course, blames everything on the old management, which was pushing hard for expansion at all costs.

The upshot of it all is that when the time came for Vueling to station an Airbus A 320 in Zürich for the summer, they realised that in fact they did not have an aircraft available to do so. But rather than cancelling the flights, Vueling decided to lease a Boeing B 747-400 from Wamos Air, just for the month of July. Of course, I simply couldn’t resist…

And so I find myself in Lanzarote on a sunny Saturday morning. It is just coming up 11 in the morning and I have just stepped off an Air Europa flight from Madrid. I now have four hours before my flight back to Zürich at 15h30, hopefully on the mighty Queen of the Skies.

But then at around 11h30 the messages and e-mails from Vueling start arriving, informing me that there are a few operational issues that will probably see my flight leaving with a delay. To be honest, I don’t really mind. Like this I can spend more time relaxing in the sun.

The flight is first moved from 15h30 to 16h40. Then a bit later the departure is moved back further to 17h40. I check on the web and I think I can actually hear the crack as my heart breaks – there has been an aircraft change and instead of the 747 they are sending a Greek registered puny little Airbus A 319.

The flight time to Zürich is four hours and Lanzarote is one hour behind Zürich. Zürich airport has a curfew in place from 23h00 to 06h03. Now you do the maths. This is going to be tight. Eventually, boarding starts at 17h30 and I figure if we manage to get airborne by 18h00, we might just manage to squeeze in before the curfew. So all the passengers board the bus to take us to the aircraft – and nothing happens.

After waiting for about ten minutes for seemingly no reason at all and nobody on the ground bothering to tell us anything, a group of passengers disembark the bus and decide it is a really great idea to have a smoke, right there on the apron in front of all the pretty airplanes being refuelled. I tell the bus driver that smoking really is not permitted, to which he simply replies that he is just the bus driver from Swissport. By this time I’ve definitely had enough. I take my bag and walk back into the terminal. Much to me surprise, the gate agents don’t seem at all surprised to see me and instead they just hand me a pink transfer card.

Eventually, all the other passengers walk back into the terminal as well. There is no information provided by Swissport and quite evidently, they really couldn’t care less. By this time it is already past six in the evening, seven in Switzerland, so what ever happens, we will not be returning to Zürich tonight. I inquire with the gate attendant about the delay and she explains that the aircraft is overweight and they are trying to figure out what to do next.

In any case, to cut a long story short, by 19h30 it becomes perfectly apparent to everyone that the aircraft will not be flying to Zürich this evening. So instead, the flight will be rerouted to Barcelona. The passengers will be sent home the next day either via Rome or Barcelona. By this time though, I think it is sufficiently clear just how unreliable and unorganised Vueling is and I am not prepared any more to take my chances with them. I have another flight coming up on Monday from Zürich, which I don’t plan on missing because of somebody else’s bad planning. And so I make other arrangements.

WDL for British Airways, Economy Class – Avro RJ85: Zürich to London City

Date: 13 May 2016
From: Zürich
To: London City
Departure: 17:05
Arrival: 17:55
Flight time: 1 hour and 50 minutes
Seat: 11F – window on the right side of the aircraft

Prologue

Oh shit! I had really hoped I had seen the last of those god awful Avro Regional Jets. But by some cruel twist of faith it looks as though I will have to endure them again – hopefully just this one last time.

Check-in

Location: Check-in 2, row 2.
Facilities: Dedicated British Airways counters staffed by DNATA personnel in British Airways uniforms.
Counters: There are two baggage drop counters for Economy Class passengers and two counters for premium paying passengers.

Check-in is also possible via the BA app, which works very well, or using web check-in.

It is just gone 05h30 in the morning and I am on my way to work. The train is just pulling out of the station in Basel when I decide to check my phone for messages. Oh crap (Did I just say that out loud?)! There is one message from British Airways, informing me that my flight to London will be operated by WDL, a small German charter company. The usual Embraer 190 has been substituted by an Avro RJ85. Well that certainly explains the rather odd looking seat map when I checked in yesterday using the app.

The Lounge

Location: On the top floor of the E dock.
Type of Lounge: Aspire contractor lounge operated by DNATA.
Facilities: There are no toilets or showers in the lounge, from what I can tell. Or at least I could not find them. Other than that, there are a few magazines available and a few desks with power outlets to work at.
Catering: Sweet and savoury snack type food.
Internet: Provided by the airport. The code is issued on request at reception, as you enter the lounge.

The Aspire lounge at the E dock is fairly new and rather elegant. Like all the lounges over in E, it has an excellent view of the apron, runway 28 and the central terminal area beyond. At this time of day, the lounge is pretty much deserted and there are only passengers bound for London, from what I can tell.

Boarding

Business Class passengers and Executive Club Gold card holders queue separately to the right of the counter, while Economy Class passengers queue on the left.

Just before boarding starts, one of the gate attendants makes an announcement to inform passengers that there is only very limited storage space on the aircraft and therefore, larger pieces of hand luggage will have to be checked in and placed in the hold. Of course, this does not go down very well with the high and mighty wannabes, who all seem to think their rather lame excuses for keeping their luggage are going to work. It is also a bit undignified to see a grown man sulking – ‘it’s not fair, his is much bigger than mine’. Guys, are we still talking about hand luggage here?

The Cabin

Configuration: 3 + 3.
Seat: The WDL website is amazingly uninformative. It is nearly as though they do not want anybody to find them on the web. In any case, the upshot is that I have no data about the seating capacity on their Avro RJ85 nor on the width or pitch of the seat.
Pitch: The pitch on this particular aircraft does not even feel that bad. When I am sitting upright, me knees do not touch the front seat and I can even slouch down and stretch my legs under the seat in front of me.
Width: You really need to like the person you have sitting next to you on this aircraft, because you are going to have them up close and personal for the entire duration of the flight – especially if, like me, you find yourself trapped in the window seat.

I would consider myself an averagely sized, adult male. Even so, I end up with my right shoulder jammed against the wall of the cabin and my left shoulder being given a free massage or a shove every time the big guy next to me decides to raise his arm to scratch his nose.
Facilities: Reading lamp and air vent.
Warning: Rows 8 through 11 are located under the wings of the aircraft. The overhead bins on this aircraft are fairly old school and small. However, on those rows immediately under the wing the height of the overhead bins is only about half that of the standard sized bins.

The Crew

The service is done be two young and friendly female cabin crew. They both speak excellent English but with a decidedly German accent. If I had to guess, I would say they are both Turkish. Just like WDL’s website and the white livery of its aircraft, the crew are rather nondescript. They have a run of the mill uniform and that is just about it.

The Meal

Choice: Yes.
Type of meal: Dinner snack.
Meal:

Bulgur and chickpea salad with falafel. From what I can tell, there are a number of options to choose form, because in some cases the passengers refuse the meal they are initially offered and are then given another instead. At least I presume it is different because otherwise they would hardly take it.
Diet Coke.

It is really at moments like this that you start to wish the airlines would abolish serving food in Economy Class. Of course my luck will have it that I usually hold my fork in my left hand, despite the fact that I am left-handed, while the guy on my left holds his on the right. But eventually we still manage, by coordinating our respective arm movement.

Arrival

Eventually, after about an hour of doing a pretty convincing impression of a can of sardines, we begin our descent into London City. We approach the city from the southeast and then turn west and then north to approach the airport from the west. We make our final turn onto the final approach right above the Shard, which looks close enough to touch from up here. And shortly after that we land. And I can finally get off the plane. Thank God!

Conclusion

And so I finally make it to London. In summary, the Avro RJ85 really is quickly turning into an old heap of junk. It’s not just that it’s tight in the 3 + 3 configuration, it just looks and feels very worn too.

Even so, I think British Airways were pretty good in a) that they managed to secure a replacement for the aircraft originally scheduled to make the flight, and b) the way they handled the irregularity by informing passengers both by SMS and, in more detail, by mail. Let’s face it, if this had been SWISS, they probably would have just cancelled the flight without really giving a shit.