Introduction

I’m on my way back to Paris. I’ve booked Qatar Airways, which has a convenient departure from Dubai via Doha that leaves at 13h15 and gets me into Paris just before 21h in the evening.

Check-in

Qatar Airways operates out of Terminal 1, which is part of the original Dubai Airport terminal complex. Qatar Airways checks in on row 4. There are nine counters available for Economy Class and four for First Class passengers.

The Lounge & Airside

From check-in I head for passport control and then security. Behind security, I take the stairs one floor up to the monorail for the D gates. The airport is quite busy, but not as busy as it tends to get at night.

Qatar Airways uses the Ahlan Dubai Airport contractor lounge that Air France also uses for its La Première passengers.

It’s not really a nice lounge, and it’s also very crowded. There are quite a few food options, but surprisingly, the only things without meat are a bowl of white rice or bread rolls and butter.

I write a quick email and then decide to leave the lounge again and go for a walk about instead. At least, outside there are some interesting aircraft to see parked at the terminal that we don’t get to see much of in Europe.

Boarding

Qatar Airways tends to start its boarding early. And today’s flight is no exception, with boarding for the 13h15 departure already starting at 12h25.

The Cabin & Seat

On the A 350-900, Qatar Airways does not have any overhead bins over the middle row of seats between the twin aisles. As a result, the impression is of the cabin being this huge, cavernous space.

I‘m seated on 6J for this short flight. The even numbered seats are forward facing and closer to the aisle, which means that the additional storage space is near the window.

The pitch on this seat is generally great. However, it‘s tighter on the A 350 than on the B 777-300. All in all, though, it‘s a very attractive and comfortable seat.

The Service and Crew

What is impressive about Qatar Airways, is the consistency of their service delivery. At the same time, the crew are still personable and friendly.

Today‘s crew is just lovely and an interesting cultural mix. They’re also very professional. There is a woman sitting on 6G and she is being quite impossible. She’s wearing a black sequined cocktail dress with black feathers around the neck and sleeves. She reminds me a lot of…

… just in black, not blue. Despite the dimmness of the cabin, she’s wearing a pair of enormously oversized (fake) Versace sunglasses and her chipped fake, black fingernails remind me a lot of Wolverine’s claws. She obviously thinks she’s hot…. Apparently, she thinks she‘s been cheated out of a First Class experience, not realising that on regional flights Business is branded as First. And she‘s giving the crew hell about it. She orders a glass of sparkling water, which she immediately sends back because „I want ice and lam“, which the cabin crew interprets as ice and lemon. But she sends that back too, because instead of lemon she wants lime. She orders champagne. And yes, she sends that back too because it‘s not the Taittinger Rosé (which, incidentally, is not even on the menu for this flight…). And so on and so forth. The crew do their best to accommodate her.

At some point, she catches my eye and tries to draw me into her rant. “So unprofessional airline, Qatar. No good, right?”. But I grew up in a household dominated by women, who made sure to teach me the art of patronizing condescension when I was still a wee lad. I give her my best and patented resting b***h face, followed be a slightly menacing glare and wordlessly slide the door to my QSuite shut. The last thing I hear her say as I put on my earphones, is “what is wrong with you?”. Yeah, right back at ya…!

But anyway. As on the previous flights, a packaged Diptyque towel and the menu are already at my seat.

For a welcome drink, I have the signature lemon and mint drink. And once boarding is completed, the crew pass through the cabin with cardamom infused coffee and dates.

The Light Meal

The meal hits the spot. I mean, you really can’t complain about the food, given that the flight is only fifty minutes. Especially the vegetarian sandwich with the truffle cream is excellent! Although the tart sends the meal back too because “I want spicy”.

By the time the crew clear away the tray, we’re already descending into Doha. So I ask the crew if it’s already too late for a coffee. The friendly Russian (I think) flight attendant tells me she can bring me a coffee, but it’ll have to be in a take-away cardboard cup, if that’s ok. She comes back a short while later with the coffee and two packets of biscuits.

Arrival

We land in Doha on time, where the weather is very different to Dubai. Unlike Dubai, which was sunny and 37 degrees hot, Doha is a mild 28 and there’s even the occasional rain drop.

As I exit the aircraft, there is a Qatar Airways ground attendant holding up a sign with my flight number. I approach him and he tells me the gate assignment for my onward flight. I now have just under an hour before boarding starts.

Conclusion

If it hadn’t been for that dreadful woman, this would have been a pleasant flight. I know it shouldn’t, but bad manners and rudeness really, really infuriate me. The crew handled the situation incredibly well, though. They never lost their temper, they were always friendly and the purser did a great job trying to explain to the passenger what was going on. Ultimately, she was unsuccessful due to the passengers apparent lack of English.

But there’s a silver lining: when we disembark in Doha, SHE mistakenly goes down the lane for arrivals and immigration, even though she made sure that everybody on the plane heard she was connecting onto a flight to the US. By the time she notices her mistake, she’s already passed the checkpoint and the officer manning it is refusing to let her turn back. I continue walking in the direction of transfer security with the serene smile of the righteously gloating on my face.