Getting to the Airport

My flight to Geneva departs Dubai at 14h30, which is a quiet period at the airport. Most movements occur during the nighttime, in the early hours of the morning. At 11h40, the concierge calls my room to let me know that my driver from Emirates has arrived. I finish packing, check out and then step into the midday heat as I exit the hotel. I don’t really know anything about cars. Heck, I haven’t even got a driver’s licence! The only thing I recognise about my ride to the airport is that it’s a BMW. The interior is spacious and comfortable. There’s quite a bit of traffic on the road. Even so, the journey from near Burj Khalifa to the airport in Garhoud only takes about 25 minutes.

Check-In

Emirates Airlines First and Business Class check-in is located in the basement of the terminal, completely segregated from Economy Class. It’s not very busy, and a check-in agent quickly sees to me. From check-in, I head for immigration and security. And then from there, I head up six floors to the main airside concourse on the B pier.

Emirates First Class Lounge on the C Pier

The infamous main Emirates First Class Lounge is located on the B pier. However, my flight will be boarding from the C pier next door, which is connected to B through a short underground passage. The First Class lounge on the C pier is located next to gate C19.

The lounge on the C pier is certainly not as grand as the one on the B pier, and looks more like a Business Class lounge. Still, kudos to Emirates for even providing a lounge on the C pier.

The lounge attendants look hopeful that I might be a heavy maintenance customer to break the boring monotony that comes with the lack of passengers. Immediately, they swarm towards me to welcome me/help me with my bag/get me a drink/bring me the menu/ask if I’d like to eat.

I’m not sure they get what they want, though. I only ask for a water and the burrata salad and that’s it.

At some point, a gentleman approaches me offering a complimentary shoe polish. To be honest, my R.M. Williams are in dire need of some TLC. So, I hand them over to the guy and put on the slippers he hands me to use while I wait. I pass the time watching an A 380 being readied for its next mission after being towed to the gate coming from maintenance.

When my shoes are returned 15 minutes later, I can hardly believe my eyes. They look like they’ve just left the shop. All the dents and scratches from the heavy usage are gone. I thank the guy and tell him he’s a miracle man. But he only smiles and explains that he was motivated by the fact that his shift ends in thirty minutes! At 13h50 I exit the lounge and head for my departure gate at C11.

Boarding

By the time I reach the gate at 14h00, boarding is already in its final stages. The gate is already empty, and I can only guess that the load must be fairly light on today’s flight. I board the aircraft through the L1 door, straight into the First Class cabin.

The Cabin & Seat

Geneva was one of the first routes on which Emirates Airlines introduced its new First Class product. To date only nine aircraft have been refitted with the new cabin, and the route remains susceptible to unfavourable aircraft changes. So, I’m not too surprised to find myself sitting in an aircraft in the very old configuration. But Mr. 1A is upset, and he wants to make sure the crew get it. Fair enough, apparently he flew the new product on the outbound, so this must be quite a let down for him. “Are you serious right now? This cabin is even older than I am. It’s like the dinosaur of your fleet, and this is the junk you’re sending to Geneva…”. On and on he goes. To be honest, I can’t blame him. I wouldn’t have thought it possible, but the First Class cabin on this aircraft really is even uglier than the one on the A 380 on the flight from Bangkok. It’s also worn and dated and has a few weird flaws to it.

As I sit there, contemplating my life choices and the immense ugliness of this seat, my eyes catch on my freshly polished boots and I muse philosophically that there’s always a silver lining: the seat may be… meh, but damn it, have you seen the shine on them boots!

Amenities

The amenities are something they do well at Emirates. Or at least better than they do other parts of their so-called premium product. First, they bring me another tote bag with another pair of eyeshades and those brilliant slippers. They ask me if I’d like pajamas, but I decline.

Then there’s also the basket with snacks, which is brought out next. While I like the idea, its content is a bit odd. The vegetable crisps are plain horrible, and I can’t really imagine who would enjoy the licorice or the fizzy vitamin B tablets. The only two thing I’m interested in, are the parmesan cashews and the bar of Lindt dark chocolate.

The vanity kit has a slightly different design to the one on the flight from Bangkok, but it’s in the same colours and has the same contents: very useful things like a shaver, shaving foam, and deodorant. And not so useful things like that horrible Bulgari Kobra men’s perfume.

The Service & Crew

The service starts with the traditional date and cardamom coffee. Today I have a date filled with candied orange peel, which goes very well with the coffee. This is followed by the hot towel. The crew are friendly enough, but the service is remarkable only in how slow it is and how long everything takes – which is surprising given that only four out of eight seats are occupied. Although, granted, they are probably slowed down by Mr. 1A, who still hasn’t quite worked through his disappointment and has now asked to speak to the cabin manager… The flight time is six hours and twenty minutes.

The Meal

After take-off and the seatbelt sign is turned off, the crew come to take my order and inquire when I would like to eat. I tell them that I would prefer to eat straight away. The cabin crew brings me my sparkling water with a bowl of olives and assures me she’ll start preparing my meal immediately – and then I wait for over an hour for something to happen, even though I’m the only passenger who has decided to eat straight away.

Eventually, I doze off and am awakened when the crew finally arrives to dress the table. To start, she brings me an amuse bouche, which is smoked duck in a brandy glass and a small dish with ricotta, tomato and basil oil. I tell her I won’t have the duck, but she insists on placing it on the table with the ricotta because “it looks prettier that way”. I’m not sure what to say to that, actually.

For the starter, I have the caviar and trimmings. This is something Emirates does really well. And they make a point of telling you that you’re welcome to ask for seconds. I don’t.

The caviar service is followed by a simple mixed salad. I ask for the olive oil and balsamic vinegar, so the crew brings me that as well as the French vinaigrette in case I’d like to try it. I don’t. With the salad, the crew bring me a bowl of bread – including some garlic bread, which is not so good and a bit hard.

For the main course, I have the salmon trout. When the crew comes to remove my plate from the previous course, she tells me that “I’ll just remove that and bring your lentil soup”. When I tell her I didn’t order the lentil soup, she says, “right, the smoked salmon, right?”. Closer, but still not quite there. A while later the salmon trout arrives, and it’s rather good. I ask for another sparkling water, which even manages to arrive – after I’ve finished the main course.

I’m skipping dessert and having the cheese plate instead, which is richly decorated. It’s a nice looking plate that is served SWISS style on a plate made of slate. or at least made to look like slate. The cheese is served with apricot chutney and honey.

To finish the meal, I ask for a cappuccino, which is served with a selection of local sweets, which are not particularly good. And then I am handed one more hot towel. I then close the doors to my seat and spend the rest of the time reading.

Arrival in Geneva

The flight is smooth all the way from Dubai to Geneva, with hardly any turbulence. About one hour out of Geneva, the crew start preparing the aircraft for our arrival, and that includes locking both of the First Class toilets one hour out, which seems a bit excessive. Our descent takes us over the Alps before we make a right turn to join the downwind pointing in a northeasterly direction towards Berne, the capital. Just before Lausanne we make two left turns to line up for the approach over Lake Geneva. Eventually, we land at 19h10.

We taxi past the satellites to our stand on the non-Schengen pier. From there it’s just a short walk to immigration and arrivals. I exit to arrivals, where my chauffeur is already waiting to take me to Evian in France. The journey by car is about 75 minutes, mostly because you have to cross the city of Geneva with its notoriously bad traffic.

Conclusion

This concludes my trip to Bangkok and my two flights in Emirates Airlines First Class from Bangkok via Dubai to Geneva. The Emirates experience is a bit of a mixed bag. Certain aspects of their First Class experience are quite impressive, for example the limousine pick up service or the lounges at outstations. What other airline these days is willing and able to afford all that? On the other hand, once you settle in on board, the veneer quickly comes off. The seat is just plain ugly and gimmicky, and the food and its presentation are rather mediocre at best. In the sum of all things, I think Qatar Airways offers a better product in its Business Class cabin, especially with the QSuite.

Emirates enjoys good brand recognition as one of the industry’s leading airlines. However, after these two flights I am even more baffled about why that is? What is noticeable when sifting through online reviews of Emirates Airlines, is that many of them mention the exclusive wine and whiskey selection in the lounges and on board – with some reviewers even going so far to provide the retail price of some of the wines offered in the Emirates premium cabins – as though that somehow warrants getting sloshed in the lounge at 07h00 in the morning. But unless you’re an active member of Alcoholics Anonymous, you may not appreciate their wine collection or won’t even care. In a nutshell, I think what I’m trying to say is that I don’t think flying Emirates First Class is worth the expense.

I also think that Emirates gets away with quite a lot of mediocrity because it can rightfully claim to be the world’s largest operator of the world’s largest airliner – the Airbus A 380. And that is impressive. But if that is the case, Emirates better start reinventing its First Class product quickly because the Airbus A 380 is no longer in production, and the clock is ticking on its life expectancy, slowly but surely.