Introduction

I’m finally on my way home. After this trip I’ll actually have a few days without travel, which feels like quite the luxury right now. I’m exhausted!

Getting to the Airport

I exit the Sofitel Liberdade in the centre of Lisbon at 06h00. I’m taking a taxi this morning, mainly because I forgot to inquire yesterday if the metro would already be operating so early in the morning. It’s not cold, but we’re in the middle of a torrential downpour. It’s been like this since yesterday. I’ve never seen rain like this! In any case, driving carefully in the low visibility conditions it takes about twenty minutes to reach the airport. The rush hour traffic is only just starting.

Check-In

I’ve already checked in on the app. TAP Air Portugal uses Check-In area A at Lisbon airport. There is a segregated area for Business Class passengers, which is considerably quieter than the zoo at the Economy Class counters.

Lisbon airport is a bit of a maze. Nothing is really easy to find and it’s difficult to find your orientation intuitively because of the apparent lack of windows. Much to my surprise, and elation, there’s actually a fast track line for security.

TAP Air Portugal Lounge

I arrive at the TAP lounge just after 06h30. Sadly, it hasn’t improved since my last visit. The windows are a little less dirty perhaps, but the coffee is still atrocious! At 06h50 a large group of geriatrics enter the lounge. They’ve just come off a cruise. Do you want to know how I know that, hm? Go on, ask me. Or any other passenger in the lounge, really, because the geriatrics are yelling it at the top of their voices. By 06h51 I’m done. I’ve maxed out on how many mostly deaf old people I can tolerate so early in the morning. I exit the lounge and head for the Starbucks one floor down. It’s not ideal, but it must be better than the dreadful coffee they’re serving in the lounge.

Boarding

TAP Air Portugal’s on time performance is amazingly bad. I suspected a lot of that has to do with the fact that Lisbon airport is the second busiest single runway operation in Europe after Gatwick. That, and the French doing a go slow doesn’t help either. My departure has been moved from 08h50 to 09h15. However, from my previous experiences with TAP, it’ll probably be 10h00 before we finally move off stand.

At 08h20 my flight shows up as go to gate. I’m hoping to take a few photos of the aircraft at the gate, but no such luck because the windows are covered in some film that makes it impossible to see the aircraft properly. And I wonder what kind of cruel soul would do something like that…

The boarding process is tedious in the extreme. No announcements are made and no information about the delay is provided. When eventually we do start moving, it’s in increments. Eventually, the whole process takes much longer than anticipated, and we don’t depart until just after 09h47.

The Cabin & Seat

There are four rows to the Business Class cabin, but not all seats are occupied. I’m on the bulkhead row, on 1A. My view from the window is partially obstructed by the fact that the outer window pane has turned opaque. Still, it’s good enough to take some photos of aircraft approaching for the landing.

The Service & Crew

There are four female cabin crew on the flight today. The purser is the spitting image of a middle aged Audrey Hepburn. It’s quite uncanny. She’s timelessly elegant in her uniform. The crew are polite, but seem a bit overly serious. Their smiles don’t come easy. The flight time is announced as two hours and twenty minutes. We’re expecting to arrive in Zürich 45 minutes behind schedule. There is no service while we’re still on the ground.

The Meal – Breakfast

The meal service starts as soon as we’re through the turbulence and the fasten seatbelt sign is turned off. The meal is served on one tray and consists of a bowl of papaya, mango, and grapes, a mango and passion fruit yoghurt, and a plate of cold cuts and cheese. With the breakfast the crew serve a wide selection of warm breads and croissants. They pass through the cabin several times with the breadbasket. The tray is quickly removed and I nod off to sleep.

Arrival in Zürich

The next thing I know, I’m woken by the captain announcing the top of descent. We have twenty minutes to run until Zürich. Below, the countryside has definitely turned to autumn, and the trees are decked out in bright colour. It’s nice to be home!

Conclusion

When did air travel get to be so unpleasant? I did three flights on this trip from Zürich to Madrid, then Lisbon, and finally back to Zürich. Once you manage to get on the plane, it’s fine. It’s the actual getting on that is inconvenient and unpleasant. Everything is rushed, everybody is irritated and irritable. The biggest issue, it seens to me, is that the hand luggage situation has grown completely out of control with the legacy carriers, especially in Business Class. And it’s a problem by the airlines’ own doing.