I’ve decided to go up into the mountains for the weekend. I’m taking advantage of the fact that I have a whole four weeks without having to get on a plane.

Location

The Huus Gstaad hotel is perched on the side of a hill overlooking the village of Saanen. The town is located midway between Gstaad and Schönried en route from Gstaad to Zweisimmen. To reach Saanen by public transport, I catch a train from Berne to Spiez on Lake Thun. From there I take a regional train to Zweisimmen, which connects to a regional train of the MOB railway to Gstaad. And then from Gstaad the journey continues by bus. And of course, this being Switzerland, the schedules are perfectly coordinated for a seamless journey.

Check-In

I step off the bus just outside the hotel’s main entrance, and even with the doors closed I can feel the loud thump of the bass from the loudspeakers in the lobby vibrating in my ribs. “Oh, dear”, I think, it’s one of those places, geared towards the terminally hip and obnoxiously trendy. I enter the lobby and push my way through a gaggle of people milling about and yelling at each other to converse over the sound of the deafening music. Luckily I’m bulky enough that when they don’t hear me or won’t listen, I can just shove past them.

I hand the guy at reception my ID wordlessly, figuring there’s no point in attempting verbal interaction. The check-in process is very quick. Two minutes later I’m already on my way to my room on the same floor as reception. The way the hotel is designed, the ground floor is at the top of the building, and all other levels are below.

South Facing Double Room

I press the key card to the reader, enter the room, and… peaceful silence. Frankly, I was already gearing up to head back to reception to demand a room away from the dreadful noise. But there is no need for that. These doors have some seriously impressive insulation because the room is totally silent.

And it’s a very nicely appointed room, too. Being right under the slanted roof of the building produces an interesting and rather charming effect. The room is large and spacious, but because of the slanted ceiling it still manages to feel cozy and homey at the same time. The finishings look new and the quality of the materials is good.

The bed is just lovely and features a nice, firm mattress that is comfortable for my back and has me hearing the angels sing when I lie down.

Up in one corner of the room is a round table and a bench to sit on. From here I can look outside and see the mountains around the hotel.

My room has a small balcony with two recliners on it. The view is great. Being perched on a hill I can see across the entire valley. In the morning I notice that there’s even a small airfield with a paved runway in the distance – not that I expect there to be much traffic during my stay.

Amenities

The room comes with a good set of amenities. There’s a Nespresso machine, and the capsules and cream are replenished daily. However, there is no kettle and no tea bags, which is a bit unusual.

The hotel also provides a hiking rucksack for use during guests’ stay at the hotel. The rucksacks are available for sale in the hotel’s souvenir shop.

In addition, there are thick Swiss army blankets and felt slippers in the room.

The Knight of Malta Shower Test

The amenities in the washroom are by a Swiss company called Soeder that is based in Zürich. They specialise in cosmetics made of herbs and flowers that are harvested in the Swiss Alps and have a spicy aroma. They’re okay, but as far as smells go I find them unidimensional and a bit boring.

There is only a walk-in shower and no bath, which suits me fine. The shower gets full points for water volume, pressure, and temperature control and reliability. There is a small penalty for spillage. However, given that I spend nearly fifteen minutes under the formidable spray, I’m inclined to be lenient.

Dining – Dinner at La Vue

On my first evening I eat at the hotel restaurant which is located on the ground floor, just around the corner from my room. I like the design, which is an excentric mix of styles that works surprisingly well.

Once we’ve ordered, our waiter brings us a board with two types of bread and a small ramekin of truffle butter and another with beetroot butter.

For the starter I have the Swiss onion soup with melted Gruyère cheese served in a bread bowl. The soup is nice and thick. The bread bowl it is served in is not so nice, though, and clearly intended more as a gimmick than something you’re really expected to eat.

For the main course it’s the monkfish with saffron reduction and leeks. This dish is bland. The fish is too dry and the saffron reduction is boring, lacks layers in its flavour and honestly tastes like a Maggi packet sauce you can get at the grocers.

And for dessert I have the warm chocolate cake with vanilla ice cream. Like the main, the dessert is underwhelming. I don’t think it was made from scratch on the premises either.

The meal is not bad, but it’s seriously overpriced for what it is – even by Swiss standards. We pay CHF210 for two persons, without any alcoholic drinks.

Dining – Breakfast

The hotel has a separate breakfast room on the fourth floor, where an extensive buffet breakfast is served. There’s quite a variety of choice. The only thing that is a bit strange, are the scrambled eggs. They just don’t look right and I haven’t got the faintest inclination to try them. Eggs shouldn’t be green, should they? Both the colour and consistency are all wrong. Initially when I saw the dish, I thought it might be a daal, until I realised it’s supposedly eggs.

The Staff and Service

The staff and service at the hotel are friendly but messy and uncoordinated. I don’t think anyone working at this hotel has had a day’s prior training in the hospitality industry. For example, at dinner in La Vue restaurant, guests are either being brought the wrong dish at the wrong time, or they’re being overseen. I also find it quite remarkable that literally none of the staff speak German.

Conclusion

Huus Gstaad gets a mixed review from me. I like the room, and the breakfast buffet is great. However, the dining experience at La Vue is a bit of a letdown. While there’s obviously nothing wrong with the hotel, the overall impression is that it completely lacks character and has been designed primarily for a younger crowd to capture that perfect instagram moment. This is not the kind of place you think back on and say to yourself, “I really should go back there soon”. While I understand that staff salaries in Switzerland are generally high enough they make your eyes water, I still find it strange that literally none of the staff speak a word of German.