Transfer in Frankfurt

I just arrived in Frankfurt on a flight from Amsterdam, which terminated on a remote stand, requiring passengers to catch a bus to the terminal. The journey by bus is not long, but it takes us deep into the immensely ugly bowels of Frankfurt Airport.

The bus ejects me on the A concourse for Schengen flights. I will have to transfer to the B gates for my onward connection to Almaty. Which, of course, means that I will have to go through the dreaded tunnel of doom. There’s an enormous queue for the lifts, so I figure I’m probably quicker taking the stairs.

Once I get to the other side, there’s another never ending queue for passport control, and there’s obviously not enough space for passengers to stand without getting in the way of passengers cutting across on the way to their gate.

The Senator Lounge on the B Concourse

All in all, it takes me an hour to reach the B concourse, mainly because it’s near impossible to get past the crowds of people milling about looking rather lost, like me.

The lounge is located near gate B43. At least it’s rather empty, and the views of the apron are stupendous. If I’m not mistaken, the last time I visited this lounge was many years ago on my way to Seoul on Asiana Airlines in First Class.

Boarding

The flight is boarding from gate B33, which is a bus gate. The ground experience here in Frankfurt really is dreadful. We board the bus with the driver yelling at passengers to move further inside the bus, until eventually, a German lady snaps and yells at him that the only way for her to move up would be to sit on her husband’s head! The whole bus erupts into laughter. And then shortly after we leave for the not so grand tour of the ugly airport as we make our way to our aircraft.

Once we arrive next to the aircraft, I hold back to let everybody else get off the bus first, so I can take photos. This is so cool!

Boarding is quickly completed. There is a second bus, but only about five people arrive with that one.

The Cabin & Seat

This is the same seat as the one on my recent flight from Dubai to Munich on the A 350. The seats are in a 2+2+2 configuration and there are five rows in the Business Class cabin for a total of 30 seats.

A pillow and blanket are already at my seat. There’s also a bottle of water and the vanity kit in the drawer at the bottom of the seat. No slippers are offered on this service. As my luck would have it, the seat next to me remains empty.

Lufthansa has alternating routings for its service to Almaty. Today I’m on LH646 which routes Frankfurt-Astana-Almaty-Frankfurt. Then there’s also LH648 which routes the opposite way, flying Frankfurt-Almaty-Astana-Frankfurt.

We start up and taxi to the holding point for runway 07L. Very slowly we enter the runway and line up. And then we are treated to a classic A 340-300 take-off. The engines spool up as the thrust levers are pushed forward and we slowly, very slowly, start accelerating down the runway and eventually lift off.

The Service & Crew

The crew on this flight is pleasant. My row is served by a woman of Japanese origin, at least that’s the language I hear her doing the headcount in. As soon as I take my seat, she brings me the menu and a pack of cashew nuts and asks me what I’ll have to drink. I decide to go with the Avionic welcome drink designed especially for Lufthansa. No idea what’s in it, but it tastes okay. The flight time is announced as six hours and forty minutes for the first leg to Astana.

The Amenity Kit

The amenity kit is another one of those ugly Porsche Design things, but this is a different kind of ugly to the one on my last Lufthansa flight – and it’s exceptionally hideous. I’m really wondering who on earth comes up with this crap. This vanity kit, apparently, doubles as a wine cooler, which is why it’s insulated with aluminium foil. I don’t take any pictures of it, but suffice to say it’s hideous. I suspect this may be a cultural thing. The Germans are generally very sensitive to status and face. In as much, I can see the appeal of the hideous wine cooler – next time you have friends over for a soirée, you can feign nonchalance as you comment, in passing, that you got that old thing the last time you flew Lufthansa, Business Class, of course.

The Meal – Lunch

After take-off, the meal service starts with the distribution of hot towels. Next up, the crew lay down the tablecloths and do a drinks service. I have an Erdinger Alkoholfrei and a glass of sparkling water. With that, I have a small ramekin of olives, dried tomatoes and pieces of parmigiano cheese.

For the first course, I have the tuna. To be honest, it’s not very nice. The tuna is pungent and overpowering, and the leaves of something green are wilted. So, essentially, I just end up having the kimchi. If you’re wondering why I didn’t just have the vegetarian option, it’s because it has broad beans, which I cannot eat due to an enzyme deficiency.

The salad is just as sad and wilted. I’m seriously wondering how long ago the catering for the flight was loaded onto the plane for it to end up in this sorry state. To make this meal even stranger, the four chickpeas on top are still frozen.

The first course and salad are served on a tray that is delivered with the bread on it. In addition, the crew make an extra round with the breadbasket. The bread is strange and manages to be both rubbery and heavy at the same time.

And this is where things get weird again. Once I’m done with the first course, it doesn’t take long, the cabin crew comes to clear it away. But instead of just removing the plate, she removes the whole tray, including the cutlery I haven’t used yet and the bread and olive oil. Shortly after, she returns with a new set of cutlery and the hot meal.

For the main course, I have preordered the vegetarian Zürcher Geschnetzeltes with mushrooms and rösti. The rösti is okay. The mushrooms, though, are an abomination. The texture is vile and so is the taste.

And then for dessert, I ask for the bowl of fruit, which is very small. And the fruit aren’t near ripe enough to eat yet.

My table is cleared, and then I ask for a coffee with milk, which is served with a small box with two pralines in it.

The Second Service

An hour out of Astana, the lights come on and the crew hand out hot towels. They do a service from the drinks trolley and serve a plate with two small sandwiches. Apparently, the bagel is turkey. I have no intention of eating the meat, it seems just a bit too red to me for it to be turkey.

And then to conclude the service, the crew pass through the cabin thanking passengers for flying Lufthansa and handing out small boxes filled with four chocolate hearts.

Transit in Astana

We land in Astana with a delay of fifteen minutes, at 23h00. The landing is interesting, given the somewhat precarious weather conditions. It’s minus four degrees and snowing heavily. We touch down and immediately the thrust reversers open. Then they close again, and then they open again and are much louder. We slowly taxi to our stand. Passengers continuing to Almaty are advised to remain on board, and the transit time should be one hour.

In Almaty the rubbish is collected and the aircraft uploads seven tons of fuel for the onward flight to Almaty. Eventually, our ground time is more like ninety minutes as we need to be deiced before continuing on to Almaty.

The Crew & Service

In Astana the crew changes. However, from what I understand, the new crew will only be travelling to Almaty, and a new crew will take over the aircraft there for the leg back to Frankfurt. This new crew is okay, although their interactions with passengers are limited by the short flight time of eighty minutes.

Third Service – Midnight Snack

The meal on this leg consists of a piece of poached salmon on coleslaw. There’s a ramekin with butter on it, even though no bread rolls are actually served on this leg. Dessert is a lemony cheesecake type thing. This is a nice meal. I would have preferred this as the first course for the main service. To finish the meal, I have a cup of coffee.

Arrival in Almaty

Eventually, we land in Almaty with a delay of twenty minutes, which isn’t too bad. It’s just gone two in the morning. The airport is quiet and immigration is quick. Within twenty minutes of landing, I’m already landside, where my driver is expecting me.

Conclusion

This journey was interesting. The ground experience in Frankfurt was mostly dreadful. The airport really is, quite simply, a dump that appears to have been designed by somebody who went out of their way to make passengers’ lives a misery. Fortunately, the Lufthansa Senator Lounge on the B concourse was a safe haven and a good place to calm down and rest. And I didn’t even see a single pair of white sneakers!

The onboard experience was a bit of a mixed bag. The crews were fine. The crew on the long leg was even great. But the fact remains that the seat is outdated, ugly, and starting to show its age. And the food was not very good either, which is kind of worrying, given that it was uploaded at the airline’s main hub. God knows what it will be like on the return flight.

And finally, the schedule. I guess there probably is no good way to schedule this service, given its flight time. But arriving at your destination at two in the morning is honestly never fun.